My Revelation At An Arizona Airport (never ending flow & a wild fire that cannot be contained)

He's sending me out! Sending me out to a place I've never been, never been alone. Then I came to the realization, I'm not alone. It's the same as it was before, yet this time I'm going on a journey not with family or friends but with my King, my Prince. He's taking me to a different place. Yes, a different place in the physical but most importantly a different place spiritually. He's stretching me beyond my own belief. I'm having to place him in a spot that I was so scared to do before. I knew if I placed him where I truly wanted him and knew he needed to be in my heart and in my life he would truly enter into me. I knew that in doing that I would have to loose things I held so dear. Now in this season he has placed me in, I have nothing. Nothing to hold me back, silly things I let get in the way before. Things so not worth my time and effort. I was putting everything of me and all I had into the wrong relationship. I was trying to fill my life with things and people that could never fill the empty stop I had inside my heart. I had this place in me that was empty needing to be filled with love, intimacy, presence and passion. I placed men of the world in this place. It was so easy, they were everywhere groveling at my feet. Each and everyone of them telling me I was the one, the one God made for them. What girl doesn't want that reality, that truth. I kept searching and kept believing the lie of man. How could I find true love like that when I didn't even know who I was? How could I even know what I wanted?
Truth is I didn't and in this moment I still don't have a clear picture of what I want. In a man of the world that is. I found this man, and I'm letting him in even as I sit here and write at an airport in Arizona. I've never let him in like this. I've never craved his touch this much, never. I always thought I did, but now I know what true hunger feels like. I sit here aching for his touch, his voice, his presence to come and fill me. I cry a lot now, not sad tears but tears filled with joy I never knew was in me. It's as if in an instant I feel his hand touch my heart. So much so, a physical manifestation of tears appear. I'm ready to hit the wall, the wall I can stand and tarry before.
I have found truth, truth that satisfies my every aching desire and longing for love, intimacy, presence and passion. I found it in a true love, a true love that will never leave me and will always sustain no matter the wavering of my heart, actions or emotions. He truly loves unconditionally. I'm going after knowledge, the knowledge of his love for me. I want to truly know because it's in that truth that I can love him. All I want is to love him. He is my sustainer of everything. My soul longs for him and nothing else will do. I believe that in my emptiness he will come and fill me. I believe as a sit before his throne and cry out his name he will answer me. I know that no other lover will satisfy me the way he does and when I place him in me and run after intimacy with him he will be my foundation and my true security. He's not an imitation, he is true love. I long for his love, come God, come and rain your love over me and in me that I may poor it out. I want not a little taste, I want a never ending flow. Come burn inside me. I don't want just embers, I want a wild fire that cannot be contained or put out. You are my everything and I'm chasing after you, never to stop no matter the distance.

GIVE ME JESUS

It's weird when your life is jolted, smashed and flipped in circles and you realize you did it all to yourself without knowing it in the instance of your sin. Then you get a shock, a shock of the reality your living in. Not a bad shock, an amazingly good, painful shock. The kind of shock where you stop and look at what your doing to yourself and the people around you. The kind of shock that in an instant you realize what the devil is trying to do...take you away, move you further from your destiny and put before you things you used to feel were more important than the love of God...mans love and acceptance. A shock that takes you through your sin and lays you out naked before a city, a congregation. It's the way you react to this revealing of sin you have been living in that so many are living in too. It's easy to wonder and wish other's same sin would be uncovered but then you realized the work God is doing in you and the unveiling of your sin was the next step toward your destiny. Sin covered only holds you back. I've now realized i was a car, a car on a road to the middle of no where. Then i woke up and was able to tell myself the truth "your a car on your way to the middle on no where". It was in my revelation of this that i realized the love God has for me. He can take this beat up car in need of him and make it new again. He can take this path that I've been so blindly driving on and make a new path paved beautifully for me to drive on. No matter how far i strayed and no matter how much i denied that I was on a road destined for the end of a cliff, he's there waiting for me to cry out. I realize the path my car was on was not where i wanting it to be. I had turned down the wrong street once, then twice, then three times. There is something that is beautiful, i feel, in time of brokenness. Something that God reveals to you when you sit before him crying out for him to literally change your way of thinking. Change your heart, change you mind. Him coming inside of you and changing old habits, old ways of thinking, old ways of feeling. When you feel him place a seed inside you and everyday you feel him watering it. When you sit and pray, sing, cry and laugh in his presence. He is there watering this seed, watching it grow and is smiling over you as you grow in love, truth and knowledge of him and his love for you. There is so much beauty in Gods love for me. He is my true love. He loves me in my sin, in my repentance and in my restoration. When there is true repentance, there is true and complete restoration. Identity is the key to unlocking destiny. When you know his love for you, you can truly love him. It's then he gives you the key. He never stops giving. I have this sword now, a sword i so many times looked passed, so many times gave up and went after lesser things. It was in my realization of the mighty warrior i am that i now picked this sword up and am never letting it go. Every day i will find a way to use it. I'm going after my destiny and nothing can take this fire, nothing will take this joy, nothing and no one will take this burning. I'm finding my identity in my God and I'm ready to take the world back, so give me Jesus!!!!!!!!